How do we handle our feelings during pandemic? The psychologists’ emotional guide for mental health

Of course, we appreciate the good articles with tips, recommendations, activities we can do at home and we find relief in the fact that we are not the only ones going through this. However, sometimes we forget to look within ourselves and find the answers that only we have. Because only we go through these situations in our own unique way.

The SPER Institute, through psychotherapists Dr. Marina Badea, Dr. Iulia Ciorbea and Dr. Cătălin Nedelcea, have developed a small emotional guide to help people have a smoother passage through the pandemic caused by coronavirus. These are five key questions that we can ask ourselves in peace, when we have a few moments of silence that we can offer ourselves exclusively.

1. I am in a very uncertain situation. But what are the issues that remain certain in my life? What certainties can I anchor in?

If we remain connected to our existence, we can say clearly what is certain and what is not. It is certain that we breathe, that we live, that our people are ok or some other kind of other certainties that seem small, but which have the power to anchor us in reality. Each one has his/her own personal examples, we just have to think about them!

2. The risk of losing loved ones is a reality, but they are alive now. How do I choose to relate to them now, how do I live with them at the moment? The risk of losing one's social status, comfort, job, etc. is just as real. But what can I not lose? How about looking differently and finding out what we have gained from the losses?

Inevitably, in this period we come to think of what is worse. But we can turn these thoughts by making the most of what we have around us and in our lives right now. Maybe some things have disappeared for us, maybe temporarily or permanently, but it would be good to see what we cannot lose. Those things that are inalienable will help us get through these extremely emotionally demanding days.

3. Who are the important people in my life and how can I get closer to them? How can I maintain connections with people differently than I did before?

Certainly, we all have loved ones, whom we miss and that we want to hold in our arms, to talk with and to be with. The Easter holidays were a real test regarding this problem. Unfortunately, we couldn't be near them as we wished. But we have alternatives, and each of us finds them. Whether we call more often, or write more than usual or see each other with the help of technology, these are ways to stay connected. It's just up to us how and if we choose to do this.

4. During this period it is normal to have feelings of insecurity and threat, and ensuring the feeling of personal security is very important. Also, the safety of loved ones is important and can affect me. Do I do everything in my power to be safe and to protect myself or the important people around me?

When we are restricted the rights we have been accustomed to all our lives, when in the media and around, everywhere, there are alarming, negative and sometimes fake news, our mind reacts accordingly and is frightened. We have the same feeling towards our loved ones. As such, we have to adapt and protect ourselves and those we care about. The mechanisms are multiple, and each one can adapt them according to the needs and intensity of what he/ she feels.

5. It would probably matter to reflect at the time of disappearance. It is an inevitable reality, a certainty and an uncertainty both. If today I am certain that I live and I am uncertain when I will disappear, how do I choose to live my life now? What is my meaning?

The thought that we will no longer be, that something could happen to us passes through our minds very often during this period. But the specialists recommend that we do not focus on the moment when our existence will end, but on the present one, in which we live. How do we choose to live? Why so and not otherwise? Why do we live and for what purpose? These are questions that only we can answer and which can make us think more about the present and its importance in our lives.

As the SPER Institute - The Emotional Focused Experimental Psychotherapy Institute says, “we do not believe in psychological solutions valid for everyone, but we believe that each person has the necessary resources to choose how they want to position themselves in this situation of life, if they understand themselves”. That is why we also recommend you to go through this little guide and find your own self through honest answers.

It is only up to us to find the necessary power to go through difficult times. Don't forget about those close to you and about the fact that they are also a part of what you represent!

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